


Slow Hands

by kkscatnip (autohaptic)



Category: Original Work
Genre: Age Difference, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Assassins & Hitmen, Being Trans Actually Isn't An Issue, Bladder Control, Breathplay, Community: smut_fest, Consent Issues, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Fuck Or Die, Hunters & Hunting, LGBTQ Character of Color, Loss of Control, M/M, Other, Rape-to-Love is BAD, Science Fiction, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Tension, Silver Fox, Space Pirates, Stockholm Syndrome, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, Transpeople Happily Fucking, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-09
Updated: 2014-07-09
Packaged: 2018-02-08 02:34:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1923450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/autohaptic/pseuds/kkscatnip
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mainio was far too tired to come up with lies. "I've followed you across six galaxies, been dishonorably discharged, broken at least nine treaties, and been in more compromising situations than I want to remember." He stopped to take a deep breath. "What about all of that makes you think I'll <i>ever</i> stop chasing you?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Slow Hands

**Author's Note:**

> * Some basic ideas from Tanya Huff's _Valor_ series borrowed and/or turned on their heads. It would be a very, very different story (fantasy, to begin with) if I hadn't been reading those books during writing month.
> 
> * Clarification on the tags: Although one of the two relationships the POV char has is either extremely dubious or non-consensual depending on your glasses, the POV character does not, in this story, even come close to trusting the relationship which lacked consent. **This is not a rape-to-love story.** The other relationship that the POV character has contains some trust issues, which both characters acknowledge are present though they don't talk about the issues explicitly. The sex between them is always consensual though not without trust issues due to the POV character's imprisonment.

"You know the saying that you feel like a million bucks?" Mainio asked, leaning back on his bed and grimacing. 

Dr. Gammond--Gabriel Egil, occasional con man and ex-full-time assassin--nodded, pleasant expression pasted on his face. It was a face which had a remarkable lack of lines, given his age--he still looked chiseled in stone despite the fact that he'd gone grey ten years ago at forty-six. Hair that had been salt-and-pepper during Mainio's last run-in with him was now going white; the readout on Mainio's eyes informed him that the color was natural, though Egil's short hair made it hard to tell otherwise. 

A smile made a satisfying amount of lines around his eyes and mouth appear. "Yes?"

Mainio let his eyes fall closed for a moment as he shifted again, bending one leg and letting it fall to the outside. "I feel like six sweaty, crumpled dollars in a Twoday afternoon stripper's g-string." 

Just the way he was supposed to, Egil closed his eyes and laughed. That was all it took for Mainio to flip his particle gun out of his sleeve--a smooth triangular, plastic oval with meters, numbers, and a trigger set into a cutout at the bottom. It was only set to _incapacitate_ , but still Mainio hesitated. All his life leading up to this moment...

"I wondered when you'd go for that," Egil said. Unconcerned. 

For good reason: Mainio's vision flickered, his body jerked, and he knew the feeling immediately; electricity was the opposite of a friend to technology. 

He was, in a word, screwed.

*

Mainio woke up all but hanging from a wall in what had to be a cabin on Egil's ship, the hum of the engine low and sweet against his head. He pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth, activating his com-plant. A robotic voice informed him that there was neither a signal nor messages waiting for him.

The readout on his eyes had a lot of gibberish on it--chemical breakdowns instead of common names--and blinking a couple times didn't fix it. He was no scientist, damn it. 

A muscle cramp in his underarm told him that his muscle augmentation software wasn't functioning properly, either. He flexed his arms as much as he could with his hands bound above him and looked up to find a unique restraint system holding his arms in place a little farther than shoulder-width apart.

He recognized what the system--the entire wall--was made with immediately. Good, because his eyes said they couldn't scan it at first, and after a blink gave Mainio one of the few chemical breakdowns he and everyone in the galaxy knew: Plastech. The chemical breakdown said it was the newer, organic kind, a type of biological hardware that could be easily programmed to do just about anything. Shame Mainio didn't have anything to interface with the plastech.

It wasn't unbreakable, but it was difficult to break, could be hardened to be as tough as titanium, which was what his eyes said the cuffs were made out of. There was no way he was getting out of these.

That Egil had enough of the super-expensive hardware to make an entire wall out of it somehow didn't surprise Mainio. 

Not important, though. The only important thing was the question of who was working with Egil; he'd worked alone by habit, by motto, for the entire thirty-some-odd years of his career thus far. If he'd taken to working with someone else it meant... well, it could mean a number of things and thinking about it was far less pressing than Mainio's current predicament. Still, he couldn't prevent every thought.

Beginning with _Someone can fly the ship while Egil questions me_ and ending with _why isn't he doing it already?_

The other advantage of the plastech was that it didn't require special sensors to monitor anything it came in contact with. It did it automatically; high security prisoners tended to end up in cuffs made out of it fairly often.

Of course the cost meant that only this section of the room was made out of it. The rest of the room was small, the way all rooms on ships had to be; this one was as long as the pallet Mainio's feet were only a few centimeters above. At least the distance sensor worked for that, though it registered infinity when he looked at the other walls. Figured.

He could either stand on his toes or let his hands hold him up and risk nerve damage. He chose to stand on his toes for now.

The wall was the only thing interesting about the room, aside from the door. It, unlike the wall behind him, didn't look flexible at all. _Unable to scan_ popped up when he looked at the door, even after several blinks. By Mainio's guess, it was either thick metal or painted to look like thick metal. Meant to keep someone in--or out. With his eyes malfunctioning, he needed to touch it to decide what it was actually made out of.

He'd be able to get a closer look at everything if he made it off this goddamned wall. Hopefully Egil would be every bit the cruel bastard Mainio knew he was and not kill Mainio quickly.

*

By the time Egil came in, Mainio had lost the feeling in both his hands and had a cramp in his left leg. Also, he had to piss. It was progressing past the point of minor annoyance, so a distraction would be a welcome relief.

He had no idea how long it had actually been--no clock on any of the walls, and Mainio's eyes were getting progressively less functional by the minute--but there was a part of him that was so relieved when Egil came in that he was ready to spill whatever Egil wanted to know. He knew better, was trained better, but the desire was still there. He'd just never felt it so strongly before.

Mainio wished he were less lightheaded. His entire body hurt, and he couldn't remember the last time that had happened. Lack of tech was a horrible thing.

"I expected better of you," Egil said, drawing out the words. "Staff Sergeant Mainio Xieng. What happened to all of the tools at your disposal?" He couldn't have said any clearer that he knew about Mainio's dishonorable discharge, and was probably responsible for all of the tech malfunction. 

A lot had happened since the last time he'd pinned Egil down four years ago. Mainio licked his lips. His mouth was too dry, but he knew this game. He did know Egil better than anyone else in or out of law enforcement. "I don't need any of that to catch you." 

Egil's smile wasn't nice. It made Mainio shiver lightly, and remember that when Egil was young, a lot of his kills had been found with chunks missing. They had a mold that was presumed to be Egil's teeth around age thirty-two; that had been the last time. 

The bastard's long pause gave Mainio plenty of time he didn't want to think on those particular details. "Finding me isn't the same as catching me," Egil said, the words a low growl in his already baritone voice.

Mainio shivered a little harder at that sound, meanwhile Egil shifted into the at ease pose: legs apart, hands behind his back. Knee-jerk reactions were easy; keeping him off-balance would be more difficult.

"Your predecessor died chasing me," Egil said, voice calm and collected. "What makes you think you won't suffer the same fate?"

"Nothing," Mainio said before he could give it proper thought. He fisted his hand, looking up at it as he did. It only curled in slightly, and barely even felt pins and needles at all. He needed to get free or he might suffer permanent damage. 

"Why continue, then?" Egil's sharp, dark eyes looked... eager, maybe? Difficult to tell; Egil kept coming into focus and back out again. Stupid eyes. More optons than if he'd lived a couple hundred years ago, but without the tech functioning fully he was far worse.

Mainio was far too tired to come up with lies. "I've followed you across six galaxies, been dishonorably discharged, broken at least nine treaties, and been in more compromising situations than I want to remember." He stopped to take a deep breath. "What about all of that makes you think I'll _ever_ stop chasing you?"

Egil shrugged, arms coming around to the front, hands folding together, elbows bent. "I was hoping you'd say that." He leaned forward and pressed his palm against the plastech wall. 

All at once the pedals Mainio's feet rested on were gone along with the restraints. Landing on the thin pallet on his knees didn't hurt as much as it should've, but it still left him groaning with pain, head spinning. 

It was a few moments before he could lift his head to look at Egil, who'd stood there like he had the patience of a saint. He wasn't anywhere near in focus.

He'd been born with bad vision, so the replacements had been implanted long ago. They worked on energy, and if Mainio had a limited supply... though, there we also drugs which could knock most implanted technology offline. 

"The only escape from here is vacuum," Egil said, simply, and pointed to the door made of questionable materials. "Airlock. Don't try to get out, if you want to live."

With that, Egil turned and left. Not even a backwards look, but if he didn't have cameras installed in this room, he was wasting a good opportunity. The Egil who Mainio knew didn't waste opportunities.

Kneeling there on the pallet, face against the slightly musty blanket, Mainio realized that the low hum wasn't the engine. It was the sound of the bend--space and time bending around the ship as they travelled faster than light. Or outside of the universe as it existed--there were still arguments about that.

At least bend travel explained why it was comfortably warm.

*

Sitting down for a while allowed Mainio's eyes to function enough to focus again. It was then that he realized that the room wasn't just tiny, it was miniscule. He was glad all over again that he was compact enough that the short pallet didn't mean he'd have to sleep curled up. 

Nowhere to piss, despite the persistent pressing need of his bladder. Pissing on the floor was a bad idea if Egil planned on keeping Mainio here for long. He could ignore it, though. Had before, and likely would again.

The more concerning thing was that there was neither food nor water, though he found a panel in the wall he was fairly sure would have plumbing behind it if it would just open to his swipe. 

It hadn't felt like more than a few hours, but he was exhausted to the point his internal tech had suffered failures. It could be anywhere up to ten or so, he figured. Hydration was essential in the recycled air, anti-rust and humidity environments in space, and he'd never failed to keep his up. 

Mainio touched the Celestial Armada tattoo on the inside of his left wrist, looking down at the creamy white of it against his medium dark skin. Before he was discharged, it would've allowed them to find it. He intentionally hadn't registered the ink's tech ID with any civilian systems. 

Instead of lying flat and feeling like the rest of his skin, as it was supposed to, it was raised, dry. Fringe benefit, that: the ability to objectively measure hydration in low-tech situations. He wouldn't be this dehydrated anywhere fewer than seven hours from his last drink.

Right. So, situation: desperate. 

Mainio jolted awake, eyes wide, blinking until things came back into focus. He felt exhausted; had they drugged him? It wasn't Egil's style.

But he knew nothing about Egil's new working partner's style. A thing to note, he supposed. 

When he tried to think of possible escape solutions, he kept coming up with the fact that he didn't have enough information to make a successful escape even a low possibility.

If he was going to make a move, he needed to get information and wait until they were out of the bend, when Egil was likely to be occupied. For the mean time, sleeping was the best option.

He still curled up, but it wasn't from lack of space.

*

It felt like Mainio's body ranged back and forth between freezing and overheating. A couple hours--or longer, or shorter--later, he was busy huddling naked under the blanket, clothes piled on top of it. 

He'd definitely been drugged, and his body was at the last stage of expelling it. It would probably go faster if he could take a piss; pretty soon he was going to just choose a place and go.

Egil looked smug when Mainio looked up and saw him. 

Mainio just wished he knew how long the bastard had been standing there for. At least he was mostly in focus. "I need to piss," he said, keeping his voice firm. No waver.

"We all have needs," Egil said. "I need better engines, though the ones I have aren't the worst. You _need_ somewhere to piss, though you refuse to simply do it on the floor because--what? You're unsure how long I'll keep you here?"

No point in nodding. Mainio just glared. 

"What if I said that you're not allowed to piss?"

He looked a little too happy with himself for Mainio's comfort. "I'd say screw you and piss next to the door." Mainio pushed himself up, blanket falling away. His body wasn't soft by any means, but he wasn't as hard as he'd been in his early twenties. The mastectomy scars were nearly invisible, at least, this many years out. 

Egil shook his head. "If you do that, you'll never get food or water. You'll die a desiccated shell." 

Shit. Mainio sighed, let it out slow. This was going to be an exercise in humiliation. Okay, fine. If Egil wanted to play those kind of mind games, Mainio could do that. "You'll kill me either way," he said, shrugging. His eyes weren't focusing as easily as they had a few seconds ago. Pain, this time, not lack of energy to power the more optional functions of his eyes. 

"Will I?" Egil asked, squatting slowly, face near Mainio. He was unreasonably attractive, even when his smile had that level of cruelty in it. 

"Why wouldn't you?" Mainio asked. Ignored the steady pain between his legs. Not even a throb--sharp, stabbing.

Egil reached out and tucked Mainio's curly hair behind his ear. It didn't need it; his hair was barely long enough to do it. 

But Mainio didn't shy away from the touch. "Because you find me attractive?" 

A shrug. "You aren't displeasing to the eye, certainly." 

Mainio sighed, looking down, then rose up to his knees. He wasn't going to let himself be weak. Not going to take it sitting down. He reached out, flipped Egil's neatly cut bangs off of his forehead. "Neither are you. Give me somewhere to piss; I'm not gonna be able to hold it anymore, soon."

This time, Egil sighed. "Very well." He swiped the wall of plastech with a simple movement, and then a more complex series of swipes and taps. A bucket built into the wall appeared. 

Of course, he didn't mention leaving. Just stood there.

Well fuck you too, Mainio thought, and stood, moved, and squatted over the bucket. He looked Egil in the eye as he did, not even blinking. 

But he couldn't piss. Egil smirked briefly, like he'd known it would happen, reached back without looking, and swiped the wall. Mainio had been right about the location of the faucet; Egil turned it on and the sound of the running water went through Mainio like a jolt.

Like the electric shock, but different. A few breaths, accompanying blinks, and Mainio caught Egil's gaze again. The sound of the running water helped him let go. 

Despite the fact that the bucket looked metal-ish, it made no sound when Mainio's piss hit it. But as it filled... that was a distinctive sound. By the time Mainio was done, panting heavily and feeling like he'd just had the best and worst piss of his life, Egil was panting just as much and Mainio thought he could almost smell arousal over the urine.

Egil's. No reason for him to do this if he didn't enjoy it. But his own, too. Best piss of his life--better than coming, but for the pain. It felt like he'd pissed the chills and shakes out, though, which meant he was now completely sober even if catching his breath was becoming a chore.

He waited until Egil looked away, and then leaned his head back against the wall and sighed. It was--not horrible. He reached down, looking as he did, and saw that his dick was half-hard. It wasn't big, but it was big enough that he had to lift it out of the way before using the wipe Egil offered. 

"Throw it in the bucket," he said, voice as controlled as he normally was. 

Mainio almost threw it at him, but remembered the earlier threat, and the idea that he might actually make it out of this alive. He'd... well, at the very least he'd stop himself from doing things if it meant keeping himself alive. He wasn't prepared to examine what other things he might do, though.

A few taps from Egil sent the bucket back into the wall, and made a row of buttons appear. 

Whatever. Pointless to worry now, with his head spinning like this. Mainio sat down cross-legged on the mess of clothes and blanket, realizing as he did that Egil was rather more aroused than Mainio had realized at first. Bulges didn't lie. His adam's apple bobbed as he reached behind him, turned the water off. He was slightly flushed.

"The first button will summon or dismiss the receptacle. The second dispenses wipes, and the third will make a cup for you to drink out of. The sink will appear with your swipe now, too."

So Egil could keep track of how much fluid intake Mainio had, and come back for a repeat show? Mainio would rather drink straight from the faucet. His smile was more a baring of teeth. "So thoughtful." 

All at once, Egil's hand closed around Mainio's throat, and Mainio's vision faltered, growing dim and then going out completely as he tried to breathe and couldn't. Bastard had a good grip and Mainio couldn't do anything more than hold on to Egil's forearm and try not to die. 

The moment Egil let go, Mainio drew in the most raw breath of his life. It was like knives in his throat, and he coughed out the bad air, stuck doubled over in an extended fit of coughing and hacking.

By the time his breathing evened out, Egil was gone.

Attack and retreat. What was the _point_?

*

Mainio hadn't realized a couple days ago--or twice of the lights going off for a while--that the bastard had taken his clothes, too. So the only thing he had was a blanket.

Which, whatever. If anything cured someone of shyness around nudity, it was the military. But that didn't mean Mainio had to enjoy either choosing to shroud himself in the blanket or exploring the confines of the space naked.

It was the principle, was all. Naked was vulnerable, and vulnerable was the last thing that Mainio was. Like he could ever be weak. He'd prove it to Egil, when he punched the bastard in the face.

If Mainio was actually at risk of anything it was boredom. He'd been left with nothing to entertain him, too, which was pretty shitty; even prisons had mandated entertainment in solitary confinement. 

But he managed to find the cameras, so he supposed that wasn't all bad. Four in all, three video-only cameras and one that was video and audio pointed toward the hatch. One in each corner, more or less.

The first day, Mainio hoped that Egil enjoyed the show. Now? He just hoped that Egil remembered he was here; he'd never gone this long without eating before in his life. A human could, theoretically, survive without food for twenty-one days. 

This wasn't theory. This was life, and it had been three days since Mainio last ate. More and more he thought that what Egil needed the next time he came in was a good left hook. Mainio was willing to provide that, if he had enough energy left by then.

At least the lack of food made it easier to sleep away the time.

*

The sound of the hatch decompressing jolted Mainio awake, and the lights came on all at once. He blinked, squinted, shaded his face with his hand.

Egil. Egil smiling, wearing some kind of sleeveless shirt that showed off his muscled arms, hiding his hands behind his back. Enough time in the bend would make just about anyone take off their clothes--they must be making a really long jump.

"Good morning," he said, smarmy as smarmy could be. Well, not that smarmy. More calm, smug.

All at once, it hit Mainio--food. Meat. Pork? The smell. 

There was a bit of showmanship in the way Egil brought the plate around to less than half a meter away from Mainio's face. If that food had ever in its life been dehydrated, it had been rehydrated with a level of skill that would make anyone who could do it a top-notch chef.

Mainio blinked again, rubbed his eyes. Tried not to breathe too deeply, but he couldn't help it; his mouth was already watering. And Egil was just. Looking predatory. 

Another deep breath would be a bad idea, so Mainio looked away and breathed out slowly, slowly, slowly. Covered his nose with his hand and inhaled through his mouth, not deeply. He swallowed all of the extra saliva his mouth was pumping out, lowered his hand, and looked at Egil. Cocky bastard. He wouldn't have that expression if he were just bringing Mainio food. "What's the catch?"

"Food isn't free," Egil said, blue eyes darkening as he straightened, taking the plate out from being practically under Mainio's nose.

Statement of the obvious, Mainio thought, trying not to linger on the way that Egil's eyes darkening made Mainio's heart beat a little faster, made him want to cover up his dick so Egil wouldn't see that it wasn't completely flaccid anymore. "And?" Mainio hoped he just sounded impatient. 

"You'll have to earn it," Egil said, with a slow, subtle roll of his hips that brought them to Manio's attention. 

Of course. Was--was this what Egil had wanted, all these years? Sex? It seemed so unlikely. "If you wanted to screw around, you could've asked a long time ago." Mainio shifted, arms to the side, legs crossed, not hiding his physical reaction. It was so--this couldn't be it. Could. Not.

Egil snorted. "What I want is irrelevant. If you want food, earn it."

All at one Mainio's confusion and curiosity turned to rage. The bastard was serious, for whatever reason. "I'd rather have unprotected sex with every illegal, diseased, destitute station bunny in the galaxy. Twice."

The expression on Egil's face said he'd expected as much, but the way the line between his eyebrows deepened said that he hadn't wanted to be right. Still, he sat down gracefully--he'd always had that grace, like a dancer. Or the well-trained killer he was. "Your choice," he said, simply, picked up the fork, and began to eat. 

It was torture. The smell was so rich, and Egil made pleased sounds and truly, it shouldn't have been. But Mainio's belly gnawed and his mouth dripped saliva and he had to swallow constantly as he watched.

He couldn't look away. Not from the food. 

So--so he decided to talk because just sitting was--horrible. "I hate you," he said, voice more raw than he'd meant it to be. Still, he didn't try to alter it. "I hate your ship. I hate your--your partner, whoever they are. And when did you start working with a partner, Mister I Only Shoot Solo?"

Egil chewed slowly, swallowed audibly. Licked his lips. "You'll meet her."

"Did you get too _old_?" Mainio asked, growling the last word. "Decide that you couldn't cut it solo anymore?" 

But Egil only put another forkful of the food in his mouth and chewed, wordless pleasure easy to see. 

"I hate this room, and I hate--I hate your face," Mainio was raving and he couldn't possibly care less, "and I hate your parentals and I hate the _idea_ of you and--" He cut off, panting, and realized that he did care that he was raving. He was twenty-seven; he sounded fifteen. 

Hunger was the enemy here as much as Egil. Mainio watched the bastard grin and then just.

No. 

Maino lay down. Covered himself with the blanket and hid, like a kid hiding from the monster and not caring one bit about how ridiculous it was being. It was less ridiculous than that rant. Less humiliating. 

Egil didn't say anything. He didn't need to. 

When the hatch closed, Mainio poked his head out of the blankets to see that Egil had left the plate. 

*

It still smelled good. It had to be cold, looked congealed a bit, but it was still food. Still chunks left in all of the different types of sauce. Some brown, some red with brown flakes. Green with red flakes. Tan-cream with brown flakes. 

All of that--Mainio swallowed, wishing he could stop his mouth watering. He sat over the plate. He didn't touch it.

That was what Egil wanted. He wanted to see Mainio break, wanted to see Mainio lick at it like an animal and regret it and beat himself up and--and wear himself down.

All at once Mainio realized that that was it: Egil was trying to wear him down. 

Mainio decided that he wasn't going to let that happen. Food would keep him going; shame was worthless. 

Determined, he reached down, picked up the plate. Then he turned to face the hatch camera, and slowly, without shame, licked the entire plate clean. 

Hate was so much easier to feel than anything else. 

*

No one came for days. Six more light cycles? Maybe? Meaning it had been almost a tenday since he'd been kidnapped. The clock in his eye display worked again, so he should've had an exact time, but he had no idea when he'd been captured. Couldn't remember much anymore.

He could remember that no one was looking for him, though. He knew no one would be checking to make sure he was there. 

Being so alone, so cut off from everything, made Mainio realize that he'd never really been alone before. He'd always been on a station, in a battle carrier, whatever--surrounded by people. Not by their touch as often as he'd have liked, but by their presence. By their noise.

In his room, it was only him. No one else. No sounds from the main ship. 

Just him in his room, with himself and the water and the way taking a piss burned like someone was shoving a half-dull knife up his urethra. Drinking less water became essential, even considering the need for hydration. 

Pain took too much energy out of him. Every few hours, more and more.

He didn't want it to be his only companion. That idea was--sad. That was as far as Mainio was going to take that thought. So he started turning on the water sometimes. It was easier not to drink it that way, strangely, and he wanted to hear something that wasn't the bend and the sound of his own breath. 

Once in a while, Mainio tried to think about people he'd known. His lover, for a while, when he was stationed on Java-15: a major who'd fearlessly propositioned Mainio, and maintained the relationship for two and a half years. 

He tried to think about Amal's voice in the next room as he talked to someone above him: polite. Tried to remember the smell of the bed, the sheets still damp with sweat. The smell of the sweat was easy, but when he realized that he couldn't recall Amal's scent, couldn't recall Amal's voice...

Mainio had never felt more alone in his life.

Would Egil have visited more often if Mainio had blown him? Wouldn't have been the first blow job he gave to get privileges, but he'd been too blind with hate to just think. He still wanted to say no, when he thought about it.

But when there was nothing else, nothing but him in this room, he wished he'd been less stubborn. He wished the hate hadn't taken so much damn energy from him. 

*

The head-wrenching _pop_ of coming out of the bend came when Mainio was listening to the faucet. Eyes closed, his only joy anymore.

For a moment, the faucet sputtered, Mainio's eyes shot wide open and crossed, and it felt like space was going to rip him apart. 

The first coherent thought he had was that Egil really did need new engines; the second was that he was going to need some clothes if he wasn't going to have the rush of the bend warming his prison. 

It was something new, it seemed like. Something new might happen. 

Hope bloomed in Mainio's head; he sat up, pulling the blanket up to his shoulders and letting the sides hang down his back. The engines hummed a higher pitch, and the coolness washing through the room made him shiver a little, after days in the heat of the bend. 

But nothing else happened. His body adjusted. He curled up again, blanket over his head.

Even when things changed, they were still the same.

*

Another day and a half. Thirty-something hours after they'd exited the bend. 

Entering and exiting bends was prohibited any closer than two days non-bend travel to any station or planet. Smugglers went farther.

The airlock hissed air, the wheel turned, and in stepped a short, medium-dark skinned woman with gorgeously kept curls to her shoulders.

Her smile was hesitant.

This was Egil's partner. The thought entered Mainio's head and exited again, drifting like space junk. 

She reached behind her, into the airlock, and Mainio thought about trying to escape but... what was the point? He was here. Stuck. And she was holding food, it turned out.

Not as deliciously prepared as Egil's food, but. The smell of it still made Mainio's stomach clench so hard that a wave of nausea rolled over him. He had to close his eyes and just breathe for a few long moments before he could think again.

Or three minutes. Eye readouts were handy.

"Sorry," she said, grimacing. "I didn't think--but." She tittered.

Good acting, but ridiculous.

"Drop it," Mainio said. He didn't mean the tray. He already had the twin; the one Egil had left. He took a breath, concentrating on avoiding that painful clench when he looked at the food. "Drop the act."

The woman frowned, and then grinned. "He was right about you," she said as she knelt. Mainio watched the tray like a hawk, watched her place it on the floor.

His mouth began to water. He was going to get to eat this. Not just--not just leftovers. And no mind games? Tears welled up in his eyes and he tried to blink them away but they wouldn't go. 

How was he crying over just this? This--tiny gesture. Egil had to feed him if they planned to keep him alive. But Egil played mind games. Apparently she, whoever she was, played different games. 

She didn't know him. Mainio licked his lips, raised his gaze to see that she'd tucked the other tray under her arm and in her other arm she had an injector. 

Needle wasn't uncovered yet. If they were going to be landing soon, though, it could be that tech-scrambling... 

This time he'd be awake. This time he'd lose his vision completely. Mainio looked back at the food. It was easier to concentrate on.

"It's antibiotics," she said, softly. "And my name's Juanita." She said it with the same kind of native pronunciation that Mainio used for his own name. "Or Julia, if you must."

The same way Mainio was Staff Sergeant Milo Shawn to everyone his superior. The same way he had been.... He squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again. "Mainio Xieng," he said, softly.

Louder, he continued, "Juanita." He pronounced her name carefully; his voice felt rough, raw. "Thank you, but I don't need--"

"I hadn't realized you enjoyed that burning sensation when you took a piss," she said, absolutely deadpan. No smile, no frown. Unimpressed in the extreme.

Mainio sighed. He hoped it wasn't a trick; hoped this would be worth it. "If I let you shoot me, I get to eat?" he asked tiredly. Saying it felt like his thoughts: passing, distant. Unimportant.

Juanita shrugged. "You eat no matter what. Taking the shot just means you won't be the first person I've ever heard of to die of a urinary tract infection."

Automatically he reached down to unbutton his uniform so he could give her his arm, and realized all over again that he was naked. He'd forgotten, being alone. The blanket had been cool in the warm, and now was warm in the cool, as were the socks. 

He offered her one shoulder.

Juanita shook her head. "It needs to go in a fleshier area. More muscle."

Even at the best of times, Mainio hadn't been terribly fleshy. She'd probably seen him from every angle by now, anyway. He rose up onto his knees, faltered, head swimming for a moment. 

She steadied him. "Easy. This is fine." Before he could think, she had the needle in his left ass cheek and he couldn't stifle a yelp that was half surprise and half pain. 

But she didn't laugh. Just slapped a plaster on it and smiled. 

Mainio looked down at the food again.

"Yeah," Juanita said, and touched his shoulder lightly. "Eat up, big boy. We'll be docking soon, and that's going to be fun."

The way she said it made Mainio look up. Whatever docking meant, she wasn't terribly excited about it.

He wondered if he should be afraid. Inhaled to sigh, and ended up looking down at the food by the end of it. But he didn't pick up the spoon to eat until the hatch had shut behind her.

*

Mainio didn't eat quickly.

Well--he'd started to, nearly vomited, and decided to eat more slowly. 

He also didn't lick the tray. Instead, he used his finger to wipe up every last bit of everything. Definitely rehydrated something or other, but he didn't care. It was the best meal he'd ever had. 

And he'd actually eaten so slowly that not very soon after he finished, the hatch decompressed again and swung open. 

Mainio was on his feet, hands around Egil's throat before he could consciously think about it. Egil's eyes bugged out and he made a satisfyingly loud sound when Mainio slammed slammed against the wall with all of his might. 

It was just as satisfying as the meal. 

But then there was sudden, blinding nerve pain in both his elbows and his hands spasmed and Egil turned them around, pressed Mainio against the empty wall next to the open hatch instead. Dug his fingers deeper into the pressure points on Mainio's elbows, grinding tendon and nerve and muscle and Mainio let his hands drop away, groaning in pain. Egil coughed, both hands still on Mainio's elbows.

"No," Egil said, voice scratchy, and now his hands came up. Now his hands wrapped around Mainio's throat.

Now Mainio's eyes rolled back and, absurdly, he felt his cock stir. It was--the aloneness and the pressure of Egil against him and. 

Egil let up enough that Mainio could suck in desperate breaths, moaning at the dryness in his throat. He. His hips didn't. Let up. 

_He_ was hard. Mainio realized it in the few seconds before Egil cut off his air again. Egil was hard and pressed against Mainio and this time, when Egil let him breathe...

Mainio's hips jerked and his moan wasn't all pain, and he shook. 

"Is the prospect death fun for you?" Egil asked. Whispered in Mainio's ear. Raw. "It should be familiar by now."

There was no way Mainio could answer. His hips continued to jerk--not thrust, because he couldn't stop them, involuntary muscle control and the feel of Egil against him and. So hard.

When Egil loosened his hands up again, every breath smelled so good, the musk of arousal practically beating in Mainio's cock. The roughness of Egil's clothes against Mainio's nudity was--

Egil choked Mainio again. Not as hard this time--he could breathe if he really struggled, but. 

He didn't want to struggle. His body didn't want to. His mind--but his body said no, so. He jerked and shuddered and chose not to breathe. 

It made him feel high, that choice. Made him....

All at once, Egil let go completely and cupped Mainio's cheeks instead. 

Not breathing without someone's hands around his throat was harder. He wanted to breathe, but the intense look on Egil's face said he didn't want Mainio to. His chest burned. Finally, he gasped in a breath, coughed it out. Gasped it in. Egil wrapped his hand around Mainio's cock, and he--he knew. How to. 

Mainio slammed his head so hard against the wall when he came that he lost some time between being held against the wall and Egil laying Mainio down on his pallet. Not neatly. Dead weight. Mainio tried to align himself, but it was hard. 

Difficult. Nothing was hard. Not even his muscles. 

"For your submission," Egil said, a little later. Mainio jolted awake. 

Socks. They were socks. As clothes, it was... was absurd. The notion of socks and nothing else. 

As a reward, a very small part of Mainio was pleased.

Equally absurd, he thought, and this time he felt himself drift off.

*

Mainio knew, when he woke up, that he was going to have technicolor bruises on his neck. He had an egg on the back of his head the size of a portal window. No laying on his back.

The socks were self-warming. Warmer than the blanket. Less absurd than he thought.

But it felt like the food had been days ago. Mainio was sore all over and he couldn't drink enough water. Like the cruel joke that it was, it still hurt to piss. Shot in his ass and he still pissed blood.

Was the prospect of death fun for him? It was damn well familiar enough that he wasn't sure he took it seriously anymore.

*

Juanita bringing more food was unsurprising. Her pretending--and that was what it had to be, because Egil wouldn't tolerate someone who didn't follow his orders, who wasn't in every way his equal.

Her _pretending_ that she was sneaking him the second meal just before dark was just silly. She looked over her shoulder like she was afraid Egil was behind her. 

"Why do you bother?" he asked. His voice was scratchier than he wanted to be, but she'd brought soup in a packet this time. Juanita knew what Egil had done.

She blinked a couple times. "Bother?"

"Faking it. Egil doesn't tolerate weakness." Or those who he didn't believe could become his equals. She was young--younger than Mainio, he saw now that she didn't have cosmetics on to make her look older and flawless. Twentyish, he'd guess.

Juanita's smile said that she was pleased. Immeasurably pleased. "I still think he underestimates you," she said coolly.

Damn right that bastard underestimated Mainio. It was why Mainio was going to win, whatever the game was. "Thanks for the chow," he said, and waved the bag a little.

"Mmm," she hummed as her expression turned thoughtful. "Just promise me you won't try and escape when we dock."

Mainio shrugged. "No promises." Even though they both knew that escape would be highly unlikely.

The way she nodded said that he wasn't wrong about that, either.

*

The feeling of being pulled in by a tractor beam was always distinct. The engines slowed to a low whirr that vibrated the entire ship, but more distinctly, Mainio felt the ship being pulled. It never felt like they were moving, in space. Not like atmospheric travel. 

But the tractor beam felt like moving every single time. 

It always took time to go through decompression and get to the dock, so Mainio chose to nap. He hadn't slept well the last couple days, with his throat more raw than he liked and the constant worry that Egil was going to come in again and--

Well, that thought was never very specific. But it was ever-present. He'd had three nightmares about it last night, and decided to give up on sleeping. 

The nightmares left him alone for the length of the nap, though. He woke to the sound of the hatch, and there was Juanita, carrying clothes.

Not the clothes Mainio had worn when he was captured. The clothes with escape devices sewn in. 

But clothes were alright, he supposed. "Does it really matter at this point?" he asked, but didn't refuse them when she handed them over.

Loose pants and a tight shirt. No underwear. 

"I thought a gesture was better than nothing," she said, and looked him up and down. "You'll do. Come with me."

*

Mainio thought about escape. He smelled the station air--subtly different than the ship's--and heard the variable clamor of people. 

Juanita shook her head at him, though. Just a slight shake before she took his hand--he let her--and led him down a spiral staircase. He felt the gravity becoming less and less effective the farther down they went, and used his hand on the staircase to keep his descent steady. 

The hold below them--a good two hundred meters or so--was full of... space junk, it seemed? Scrap was always a good cover for smugglers.

"No gravity by the time you get to the bottom," Juanita said. "And right here it's only a quarter of most station gravity." Which was variable, but in most parts where people lived, .8 Earth gravity.

But they weren't going to look at the bottom, at what the scrap was hiding. No, they were stopping at the surprisingly large hammock that Juanita had slung between the back side of the staircase and one of many safety poles. 

The readout on his eyes informed him that the floor of the hold was thirty two point forty five meters down. Juanita didn't seem afraid, didn't seem worried, as she helped him into the hammock. Lay down and told him to straddle her hips. 

It wasn't uncomfortable. She was pleasingly plush, the skin where her shirt had come up dimpling when Mainio gripped her. "Now what?" 

"Now, the ship is getting inspected," she said, matter-of-fact, and then began to slip into a more sultry tone, one finger tracing up his torso. "And you're going to help me distract the inspector from going down into the hold."

She grabbed Mainio's shirt and pulled him down into a kiss. Mainio intended to pull away--he did--but it was almost like with Egil, that need for touch overcoming everything and making Mainio growl a low, needy sound and thrust his tongue into her mouth. Juanita was soft there, too, wet. 

Mainio wanted to melt at the way she moved under him, the way one hand gripped the back of his neck and the other slid inside the back of his loose pants to grip his ass. He wanted so badly to melt, but he could hear Egil's voice. Hear the inspector. 

"Please," she whispered, arching, moaning against his lips. 

Not kissing her wasn't an option. She was eager and willing and beautiful and the only person who'd said a kind word to him in two weeks. Even if it was fake. He didn't care right now, just wanted... wanted to let this happen, wanted to learn exactly how good of a kisser Juanita was. 

Juanita gripped his ass tighter and Mainio had to break the kiss, had to bury his face against her neck and pant brokenly, hips rolling and rocking back against her hand. 

"You're one of those guys, huh?" she asked, voice--not husky. Not on purpose. Just breathless and wanting, the same way Mainio felt. "Don't care who it is, as long as they'll put something inside of you?"

Mainio wanted to shake his head. Penetration didn't usually--he just. Really sensitive right now. And she, she made him want to do whatever she told him. 

Right now she was telling him this. Gripping him. Inching her fingers toward his back hole. "No," he gasped, and cupped his hands around her head, her neck. Shuddered. "Just you." It was the best he could come up with. Inadequate.

And then Juanita stopped all at once, pulling her hand out of Mainio's pants and. Mainio held on to her. Pressed against her, hid his face.

If Egil saw how badly Mainio wanted Juanita--she could say it all she wanted, but until Egil saw the look, he wouldn't know--it would. Mainio would--he'd be Egil's. Body and soul. 

He couldn't handle that. So he hid, and Egil laughed at something. Juanita rubbed her hands up and down Mainio's back. Sensual. 

Not sexual, not like Mainio's dick throbbing helplessly. They hadn't--hadn't even. He wanted to laugh.

Instead he started to cry.

Juanita kissed his tears away. Rubbed his back without stopping, kissing his cheeks, his forehead, his nose. His tears dried up, but any arousal was long gone.

The sound of feet on the stairs again made Mainio look up. This time it was Egil alone, smiling at first, but as he got closer his expression went stormy, angry. Without a word, he helped Mainio out of Juanita's hammock--she stayed--and marched him up the stairs. 

Across the ship, and back to his prison.

In the airlock, while the room was decompressing, Egil put a hand on Mainio's shoulder. Squeezed, but gently, despite the way Mainio tensed up all over. 

"If you'd rather it be me next time, that can be arranged."

What the hell? Mainio thought. 

The decompression light went green and all at once Egil opened the hatch, pushed Mainio in, and closed it behind him.

It was almost like it hadn't happened at all, except Mainio could still feel the warmth where Egil's hand had rested. Remembered the gentle squeeze.

Not like it mattered, though. If he'd had a chance, Mainio would've said no. Would still say no now.

Except, if it was Egil, then Egil could never find out about how badly Mainio wanted Juanita. He could never see them together. Maybe it was worth thinking about.

Then again, it was _Egil_. The bastard, the most smarmy shithead there ever was. 

Maybe it wasn't, after all.

*

Mainio had no idea what cargo they offloaded. Space junk, presumably. Something else, too, given their antics with the inspector. Who even knew. 

What he did know, though: as soon as the ship--The Lusty Lady, apparently, because from the outside she looked like a fantastic rack--was back in space, Egil came and let Mainio out.

"Go," Egil said, motioning to the door.

If he hadn't been standing in front of it, like he was waiting for Mainio to make move, there wouldn't have been any question. But Mainio didn't trust him. "It's a trick." 

"No," Egil said, looking annoyed, "it's not. Get your ass out of this cage or you're in here for good. Take your blanket with you, too. I've gotta close this up tight until we're in the bend."

And you want me on the other side of the door? Mainio wondered, but didn't ask twice. Even if he did hesitate before getting within easy arm's reach of Egil. But no attack came, and so he thanked all that was holy and not and ran through the door.

*

"Slow down," Juanita said as Mainio sucked the soup from his third pouch. "Those are our supplies too, you know."

Mainio lowered the pouch and swallowed; it sounded noisy and he didn't care. He considered for nearly too long, as Juanita pushed herself up off of the floor, but she stopped, so he said what he'd come up with: "And here I thought none of them being labeled meant they were all mine." 

She laughed. "Points off for taking too long to think of it, but good delivery," she said, and somehow gracefully collapsed back down to the floor to sit next to him cross-legged. The empty hold echoed under them. 

"Why'd he let me out?" Mainio asked, looking down at the not even dimly lit emptiness. 

Juanita shrugged. "Because we're going to be entering a bend in another twenty-four hours, and Egil's always impatient? I told him we should wait until we're in the bend, but for some reason he thinks you're not enough of an idiot to try and fool with coordinates or try to take over mid-jump."

The wry smile as she spoke made him think that Egil had said something radically different. He recognized flattery when he heard it. "No," he said softly. "You're the only one who thinks I'm an idiot. Why'd he let me out?" 

"Because I asked him to," Juanita said, shrugging uncomfortably. "We planned to let you out to help us--we were supposed to hire on someone at the last port--but I suggested he try it early." 

Mainio frowned. She was such a mystery to him. "Why?"

"I wanted to see if you could be trusted," she said, and rose up again without even her hands touching the floor.

Watching her walk away, Mainio thought that Egil might be the one who made Mainio want to hide from, but she was the one he was supposed to respect. And impress. Egil wouldn't be avoiding Mainio and letting her have all these interactions with him otherwise.

Why did Egil care, though?

*

By lights out, he hadn't figured out a feasible answer, and neither of them had given him a clue to help. 

Juanita was driving, now, and told him that they were approaching bend coordinates. They were allowed to enter and exit them early in this part of space, she said, because the stations were too close for a full two days.

He figured it meant that she wanted him to know they were going out a different way than they'd come in. 

"Where do I sleep?" he asked. 

Juanita looked up from the board. She'd probably been figuring bend equations for the exact place they'd begin their jump. "Wherever you want," she said. 

"What if I want to sleep in your hammock?" Mainio asked. He'd been thinking seriously on it; the lack of gravity made it safe and the sound of the metal staircase would mean that he'd hear anyone on their way down. 

She'd already looked back down at the board, though, and she typed in a few numbers before looking up again. "I'll kill you," she said. Not like a threat, but like a fact; he believed it. "But if you want to sling another hammock, there are extras."

He nodded, paused. Thought about it. About her having to go past him. "How much farther down can I go?"

This time when Juanita looked up, it was to pointedly roll her eyes at him. "Not close enough to see the bottom of the hold. Egil will shit bricks if you decide to camp out down there, and you won't have room once we start pulling crap in." 

Right, Mainio thought. He supposed they needed a little legitimacy in their smuggling. "Where are the extras?" 

"The horizontal compartment above the food pantry. Code's H211451FCD; don't take the black one." 

"Why, because it has escape coordinates?" Mainio asked, snorting.

Juanita smiled, and he hoped it meant that she was proud he'd come up with this one faster. "It's broken, actually. Everything will connect, but the relative gravity field's broken, so you'd have to tie yourself on." 

That was just so damn practical. He nodded his thanks one more time and left for the pantry. 

On the way, they entered the bend, and Mainio ended up on his knees, panting a little. There were very, very good reasons that scientists believed that going in and out of bends too often deteriorated a person's health, aside from the fact that it could put relative years on someone's life.

Egil stood there, by the time Mainio could lift his head. He blinked, thinking he might be seeing things, but Egil was still standing there. He didn't offer a hand, and his face was mostly in shadow from the bright overheads. "Told you I needed new engines," he said, and then covered his mouth as he walked away yawning. 

The fact that Mainio's heart started to beat faster and it took him until the overhead lights were off and the floor lights the only ones to see by to get his body back under control. 

Something he hadn't thought about, about being free: Egil could sneak up on him anytime, anywhere. Everywhere.

Time to fix that.

*

Slinging the hammock was basic training kind of stuff, though this hammock was more updated than the ones he'd used years and years ago in basic. It took him a moment to figure out how to adjust the relative gravity field to the highest comfortable norm, but once he did, his blanket was all the cover he needed before settling down to sleep.

He tried not to think about how it felt good--really good--to be in semi-control of his environment, and also to not dwell on the fact that it was probably temporary. The first was natural; the second was ruining what chance at good dreams he might've had with a full belly and a space that was his own.

*

The sound of Juanita walking down to her hammock woke Mainio up. He rubbed his hand over his face--it wasn't as easy to wake up as it had been, once--and then yawned and proceeded to try and lay loosely but not frozen. 

"Don't go back to sleep yet." She sounded tired. "Egil's going to pull us out of this bend in a minute." The creak of rope and the sound of fabric on fabric meant that she'd gotten into her hammock.

He opened his eyes to confirm it. Wondered if Egil had told Juanita about his reaction to going into the last bend. It wasn't a big deal on most of the ships he'd travelled on before, which had top-of-the-line engines in the best shape possible, but Egil hadn't lied about his engines and so bending was anything but pleasant.

This time Mainio exhaled when he felt space being pulled tight around him. When he was aware of himself again--that would be time bending--he couldn't catch his breath and his whole body was clammy.

"He needs to sell that cage," Juanita said, softly. 

Mainio hadn't even thought of it: why Egil couldn't afford engines, when he damn well afforded an entire wall of incredibly expensive organic plastech. "So make him," Mainio said, sighing the words out. He was more tired than he'd realized before. 

Juanita laughed. "You don't _make_ Egil do anything. You lead him to the idea, let him prod it from every angle, and hope he chooses the way you want him to."

Sounded accurate, though the idea that Egil could be led to ideas was new.

Once more, Juanita yawned, and he heard the shift of the ropes. "Go back to sleep. Tomorrow we'll teach you how to collect space junk." 

It was funny: she had barely finished saying it when Mainio closed his eyes. It had to be a joke.

*

Though apparently it wasn't. That day--and all of the following two weeks--Mainio learned and then perfected methods for collecting space junk. The hold below them filled, bit by bit, though Egil was a fucking perfectionist and had to go down and inspect that everything was "sitting correctly" every few days. 

Better him than me, Mainio thought. And those were the sum of his interactions with Egil for two weeks. 

But the bruises on his neck reminded him that Egil wasn't being nice; he was just keeping his distance.

*

Until they faded. Collecting space trash took more time than he ever imagined. So many pieces, though there were even smaller ones they didn't bother with because they weren't large enough to cause damage to ships. 

Mainio felt like the world was surreal. Like he was living someone else's life, when Juanita smiled at him and his cheeks flushed and she didn't do anything. She looked like she wanted to, but she didn't, and those were the moments that reminded him who he was.

A prisoner on their ship, taken out when it was convenient for them. 

He got to make his own meals and eat whenever he wanted. Got to do anything, really, though the time that Egil found him trying to program the plastech, he backed Mainio up against the wall and leaned in close--he'd had some kind of thing that included a lot of cinnamon for breakfast. 

A heart attack was when your heart stopped, right? So Mainio knew he couldn't be having one right now, but it was hard to believe, because he couldn't seem to breathe. Instead he froze and Egil just stared at him, all anger, until he laughed.

Right in Mainio's face.

In that moment, Mainio's dick was suddenly harder than it ever had been in his life. 

Egil inhaled deeply, like he could smell it. Or maybe see it. Or feel it. Mainio shook, unable to move.

"Don't fuck with that," Egil said as he leaned away, voice confidence and self-assuredness. "Daddy can't afford to replace it if it gets broken." 

Daddy? Mainio bit his lip, but he didn't need to say anything; hardly anyone used the archaic term anymore. Egil turned and walked away, laughing again, shaking his head. 

Mainio locked himself on the other side of that hatch and got maybe seven steps down the stairs into the hold before he ended up half sitting on a step, hand down his pants, fingers working desperately. 

It was so incredibly--so messed up. But that just made it hotter, just made Mainio have to press his other hand over his mouth so he wouldn't moan, wouldn't breathe too hard and give himself away. 

He came so quickly that he had only just started to sweat by the time he had his forehead leaned against the rail, eyes shut tightly. 

At the beginning of the hall that led to the hold, Egil laughed. Juanita giggled, and told him to stop. Egil kissed her--loudly--and she squealed at first, but then laughed lowly and they both moaned. 

Mainio all but fell the rest of the way down the stairs to his hammock, but the lack of gravity made it less dangerous than it would've been otherwise.

*

Of course Mainio expected something to happen. Every time Egil or Juanita was in the same room with him, he waited for them to tease him, waited for them to--to something. He didn't know. To torture him, like they had at first. 

To make him feel like less.

But they didn't. Nobody messed with him for three more weeks. They treated him like--like he was the same as them. Their level. 

He'd expected the code on the hatch to get changed. He expected Egil to tease him. He expected Juanita to try and talk to him about his feelings. He expected--so many things. Even things that he couldn't articulate, except to know that there had to be something happening here that made him trust them a little bit.

With certain things only, yeah, but that was shitloads more than he'd trusted them with three weeks ago, and entire galaxies more than he'd trusted them when he was in the cage. 

So no, he wasn't entirely comfortable. But he got used to it. Anyone could get used to anything, given enough time. 

He even stopped tensing up instinctually whenever Egil walked into the room, though he still noticed it every time. Just the same way he noticed the way Juanita looked at him, and heard the results whenever they disappeared together into Egil's cabin.

The sound of flesh on flesh was distinct; Egil's cabin was next to the control room, almost dead center of the ship.

Mainio ended up masturbating on the stairs again a few times, but nothing as intense as that first time. Nothing that took him over completely like that.

So that was it: he was at a stage where they didn't take him over completely anymore. Not unless he wanted to sit there and imagine the way Juanita arched against Egil, imagine the way Egil held her in a vice grip.

Imagine Juanita riding him, her juices dripping over Egil's balls...

It had been three days since the last time Mainio jerked off. Juanita was asleep; Egil was collecting junk. Going to his hammock wasn't an option, so he headed for the kitchen instead. Put his face in a corner and his hand down his pants and kept going from where he'd started. 

She'd love being in charge, and Egil would love to hate it. Try and buck her off, which would only make her hold onto him tighter with those lovely, thick thighs. Egil might even pull her hair, but. She could pull his chest hair, catch his nipples with those long nails of hers. 

Mainio moaned softly, eyes fluttering. He wasn't young anymore; orgasms weren't clockwork. He had to work for them. 

Her nails. He loved them. Bet Egil did, too; they were impractical in space, but he didn't make her cut them. It was the little things that mattered in the end, wasn't it? Egil's little cruelties, and Juanita's little attentions. Combined, they must be--

"I'm done, if you want to go to your hammock," Egil said. "Soon as Juanita gets her lazy ass up, we're sliding into a bend."

Mainio froze. Felt his knees go weak and ended up with the corner taking most of his weight. He pulled his hand out of his pants; it was dripping. Nowhere nice to put it. He pulled in a few deep breaths. Felt his head clear. Felt his dick shudder in response to the denial. 

Finally, he lifted his head. Looked over his shoulder. Egil was already busy breaking a heatstick into a pouch and shaking it up. 

"What?" he asked. "Don't tell me you don't want to. We couldn't give a shit about it, but you're a shy motherfucker."

Mainio realized his throat was incredibly dry. So were his lips. 

"Better get over that," Egil continued, now squishing the pouch contents around between his huge hands. "You look like you're trying to hide something in this line of work and it's all over." 

What? Mainio turned halfway around, his knees beginning to work slightly better. 

"It's not like we're going to keep you locked up forever," Egil said rather too cheerfully, pried the seal open on the pouch, and started to drink the contents.

Mainio was so suddenly determined to test it at the soonest opportunity that he forgot about his arousal completely.

*

"Sure," Egil said as he watched them taxi on the viewscreen. He grimaced when they took the turn too sharp and scored a line in the Lady's paint. "Go play if you want." 

So Mainio asked Juanita. "If you want," she said with a shrug. She was digging out all of the books that she wanted to sell, along with clothes she was tired of. "But it's not the kind of station you want to get lost on." 

"I don't have a wallet to steal," he reminded her, though he had no idea how she could've forgotten. 

Juanita just grinned. "Nah, but you got a body full of perfectly functioning organs, and anyone who watches you for thirty seconds can tell you have high-level optical implants."

Mainio's bullshit sensor was only pinging lightly, but he still knew that was just what they wanted him to believe. If he could get off the ship and activate his com-plant, he'd be home free. No more being stuck on a ship with the two most sexually frustrating human beings in the universe.

No more being prisoner. 

He'd wait until Egil and Juanita started offloading their shipment. 

*

A day later, they still hadn't offloaded it. Juanita had acquired new clothes and new books; Egil had refilled the food and other basic ship stores. But neither of them had made a move toward unloading their cargo.

In fact, they were on the station most of the time.

It was almost like they were daring him to escape. Like they wanted him to try, to see that he couldn't. He'd slung a hammock six and a half meters below Juanita's, and so far, she'd only slept in it one night. 

Egil still slept on the ship every night, but he was gone most of the day. One day he yelled down the stairs, "Mainio! Up here, now." 

Mainio obeyed unthinkingly. He'd obeyed plenty of other orders from Egil, as a quasi-member of his crew. At the top, Egil scowled; _that_ was what made Mainio's gut clench. "Juanita says you haven't been off the ship once." 

He shrugged. "She says I'll get abducted and have my organs removed to be sold on the black market. Thought I'd avoid that." 

"That woman," Egil said, shaking his head. "We're leaving tomorrow. Go and be with people for an hour or two, for fuck's sake." 

"No," Mainio said. They wanted him to try to run. He wasn't going to. 

Now a trace of real anger. "Let me put it this way," he said, voice dropping low. Necessary, with the door open behind him. "You find somewhere else to be, or I'm putting you back in the cage." 

The one that was the one place Mainio hadn't gone back to since they'd let him out. He swallowed hard, knees feeling weak as his stomach did flip-flops. "I'll go," he said quickly, already heading for the gangplank. 

* 

It looked like no other dock that Mainio had seen. It wasn't dirty, not exactly, but there was stuff everywhere. People everywhere. 

Station bunnies. Likely the kind that Mainio had said he'd rather have unprotected sex with (twice) than blow Egil. They certainly didn't look registered--no obvious tech anywhere, and if a single one had a com-plant, he'd eat his clothes. 

Some of them were registered in the system--names that were obviously fake--but most of them came up 'unregistered' and Mainio's eyes offered to send their photo to Intelligence. He ran his tongue from the front of the roof of his mouth to the back, the command to delete information.

There were obvious bookies and some not so obvious ones; they tried to catch Mainio's eye, but he didn't even look long enough to scan them. 

Station--not station bunnies, as Mainio got to the end of the dock and saw them leaning casually against trash piles. No, these were fleshies--prostitutes too young to even hope to get a pass for legal prostitution. None of them came up as registered, either. They didn't exist, according to all the databases known to the government.

Mainio looked away--not too fast; they'd think him interested if he acted shameful. He lengthened his stride and followed the signs for the tubes that would take him to the rest of the station. 

At a guess, he'd say the station held somewhere between thirty and fifty thousand people. It all depended on how many people were stuffed into spaces too small; he'd guess it was closer to fifty than thirty.

It was clear why Egil didn't care if Mainio spent as much time on the station as he wanted: Mainio was easy to peg as former military, and if anyone realized he still had all his plants, they'd realize that even though he was dishonorably discharged, he was also a deserter. It could happen on normal stations, too, but there people tended to peg him as off-duty, not discharged.

Armada didn't like civilians having their tech, and the rewards were pretty hefty. All it'd take was few people who were a little too desperate and Mainio was even more screwed than when Juanita had shown up to stun him.

And now talk of Juanita's bullshit organ thieves. Ugh.

*

Egil fell into step with him about forty-five minutes later, out of nowhere. 

"Keep walking," Egil said, low and not even looking at Mainio. Only barely within arm's reach. 

He'd been on high alert since thirteen minutes ago when he noticed the two people following him now, but apparently Egil was just that good. "What's going on?" 

"Someone's making a play for power, and you're it." Egil didn't just sound unhappy; he sounded angry.

Mainio licked his lips and pointedly kept his gaze forward. "What's your plan?" 

Now Egil did look at Mainio, though only briefly. "Follow my lead." He paused at a newstand and picked up one of the post cards--a rarity most places, but the less legal people were, the less they left a digital trail--and showed it to Manio, smiling. It was of Java-15, where Egil had captured him. "Funny," Mainio deadpanned.

"I just need you to look angry," Egil said softly. He caught Mainio's eye then, eyes sparkling with excitement. "Hit me. Make it look good."

Mainio had absolutely no problem following that order. He punched Egil as hard as he could, scraping his knuckles on those high cheek bones and not giving a single, solitary shit. Egil rocked back in a way that was satisfying, eyes wide enough to say he hadn't thought Mainio would hit that hard. More the fool, him. 

"Prick," Egil said, and took off at speed through the crowd, weaving expertly.

Running after him wasn't even a chore, and in that moment, Mainio felt more alive than he had the entire time since he'd been captured. He didn't care who was chasing him, didn't care what their play was, only cared that he was chasing Gabriel Egil and he knew that he was going to catch him.

Not the same way as before, but good enough for Mainio to take satisfaction in it.

Egil had been easy to follow, with his height towering over all of the space-born folk, but all of the sudden he just disappeared. Shit. Mainio did a full circle, and the two who'd been tailing him were only a couple meters of away; his heart kicked into overdrive, panic beginning to claw at his mind.

Someone whistled, and Mainio knew it had been Egil. He ran in the direction of the whistle--across the street to the side they'd been on originally, and then one more, lower, whistle led Mainio through the containment doors where everyone bottlenecked. 

He saw Egil then, and Egil jerked his head at Mainio. They ran between two of the street shop stalls, into the door of one of the real shops. Egil said "sorry!" as he jump-slid over the counter and went through the swinging door into the back.

The person working there didn't even look up. Mainio dove under the flap that led from behind the counter to the front of the store and followed Egil. 

They ended up behind the shop, and then at a door marked Authorized Personnel Only. It rejected Egil's fingerprint, and then Egil kicked the bottom, hit the area next to the lock with the bottom of his fist, and then knocked the middle of the door with his shoulder.

A lock clicked, and something behind the door whirred.

A ladder down was the only thing there. "Go," Egil told him, panting lightly. "I can beat them if it comes to it; you can't."

Mainio wanted to argue, but he wasn't carrying a single weapon, hadn't trained in two months, and had no idea what was even going on. He went, hands on the sides, sliding down as fast as he could. His ears popped, and the farther down he got, the slower he went.

Egil was above him now. Mainio slowed almost to a halt, realized that he was near enough to the center of the station for gravity to be meaningless, and let go of the railing. He laughed. 

"Keep going," Egil said, voice still urgent.

The pursuers might know about this route?

Like thinking the question demanded an answer, far, far above, light filtered down that wasn't the orange-yellow-red of the emergency lights in the shaft. Shit, he thought, and used the ladder to push himself downward. It wasn't easy--he wasn't well practiced in zero g--but he managed it without killing himself. 

The floor at the bottom of the shaft was magnetic, and Mainio learned that the shoes Egil had given him were also. The door wasn't locked, but Egil hissed down, "Wait," and landed not six seconds later. 

He reached through the stairs to key something into a keypad that Mainio hadn't noticed, and above them, emergency panels slid out, the way they would to contain airborne agents, fire, or people who were pursuing them. 

"Won't hold them long," Egil said softly, and led Mainio out the door. This one looked the same as the other had, and Egil performed the same sequence of kicking and pounding. The door unlocked and something slid open. "But hopefully they'll be in too much of a hurry to realize the panel would be closed if we'd actually gone that way." 

Mainio nodded. He was just catching his breath, but Egil's had evened out already. "Now what?" 

"Now," Egil said, "We get back to the ship as fast as fucking possible. There's a tube that'll go to the docks we came in at about a kilometer down."

"And let's just hope they don't tell anywhere where they think we're heading?" Mainio asked, his mind already working.

"Got it in one," Egil said. 

A fast walk brought them to one of the emergency access alleys between storefronts, and once they were on the street, Egil stopped at the first vendor who sold clothes. All of them looked used, and Egil sold her the clothes they'd been wearing.

When they started again, both of them had different colored shirts, plus hats. Egil took Mainio's hand, bumped Mainio's shoulder gently, and said, "Be casual, darling," laying on as much camp as Mainio had ever heard.

Right, Mainio thought, heart beating far too hard still. They started walking, and he took as many slow, deep breaths as he could. His heartbeat was almost normal by the time they got to the tube, and completely evened out even though his senses were still on high alert.

Two new people followed them out of the tube. 

Egil squeezed Mainio's hand. "It's not far."

It wasn't, not at the run that they broke into when one of the pursuers was silly enough to shout "Stop right there!" and pull a gun. 

"In your dreams," Mainio shouted, the words breathless but joyful as he followed Egil. 

His legs weren't as long, though, and Egil was running flat out; at the point where he would've turned onto the dock, one of them caught Mainio by his long hair and the other pulled him back. 

"Egil!" Mainio shouted, higher than he would've liked.

Egil paused on the gangplank, his eyes going wide, but by then, the two had dragged Mainio into the piles of trash.

Which, incidentally, were homes that had probably originally been built by children. The ceilings were low enough that Mainio had to stoop. He tried to walk the line between letting them drag him and not letting them drag him too fast, only half sure he knew how to get back out again.

"Run!" Egil's voice rang out from somewhere. 

Mainio twisted his arms, rolling his shoulders, and wished he had enough room to do a flip or sweep their legs out from under them, because it would've been the perfect way to get away. 

Egil slammed into the larger of the two a moment later, as they passed a cross-tunnel, and then there was only one and Mainio could kick one person's ass easily.

Male-looking, about Egil's size. Mainio went for the balls, but the guy blocked it, so Mainio went for pressure points on the neck instead. He managed to hit one on the first try, and once the guy was down, he broke the shithead's nose. 

Urgh, his left hand was going to need serious bonding once they got back to the ship. The guy tried to get up again, so Mainio kneed him in the face, and that did it--he didn't move. 

Something hot splattered from Mainio's leg up his lower back, and he turned around just in time to get bloodspatter to the face. 

Egil had cut his person's throat, ear to ear. "Dead?" he asked, nodding toward Mainio's.

"No," Mainio said. "He was just--" 

But Egil was already moving, sliding his wicked, short knife through the guy's ribs and killing him. "Leave messes for your enemies," he said, matter-of-fact, "not your allies."

Mainio was never more aware of the fact that Egil was a universe-class assassin than right then, with both of them bloody--Mainio moreso than Egil--and a savage light in Egil's eyes. Mainio followed him out, the exit different from where the goons had dragged him into the tunnel.

Back on the ship, Egil drew up the gangplank and sealed the air lock. His eyes were cold, hard, as he stared down at the board.

From the direction of the hold, Juanita said, "They got to him? Fuck."

Egil shrugged. "We both knew the dangers."

"Hey," Mainio said, growling the word. "A little less talking about me like I'm an inanimate object would be nice." 

Juanita laughed, but Egil just looked tired. He rubbed his face and just seemed to realize that they were both bloody. "Come with me," he said, looking at Mainio. 

Mainio looked at Juanita for guidance, and she just grinned, making a pushing motion. No danger here, then, hopefully.

Bathing-rooms on ships were complex: both saunas and showers, plus a toilet. Saunas used fewer resources in the bend, but on a station... Egil filled a bucket with water and started to strip down. 

It wasn't anything Egil hadn't seen before, but Mainio was wont to follow suit. "That's it?" he asked. His heart had started to slow, but now it beat faster again. The panic had never really left his mind. 

"Am I supposed to say sorry?" Egil asked, sitting naked on one of the stools in the bathing area and dipping his soap-sponge in the water. When Mainio didn't respond, Egil deadpanned, "I'm sorry, 'Nio, for using you to draw out my allies' enemies. It needed to be done, though, and I thought you'd be glad of a purpose."

All at once, Mainio was just. Rage. Blind rage. Egil had known when he sent Mainio out. Egil had thought Mainio would be glad of the chance to help him. In a blink he was straddling Egil, right hand around Egil's throat while he pressed the thumb of the left above Egil's cheekbone, into the developing bruise from the earlier punch. The cuts on his left hand had barely stopped bleeding; they started again. 

"I'm not yours," Mainio said, voice low as he tried to hold on to his anger. He wouldn't gain anything from killing Egil, no matter how nice it would feel. "And even if I were: you don't get to use me like that."

With his left eye closed and the other narrowed from pain, Egil replied, "How would you prefer me to use you, then?"

Mainio wanted to scream. The bastard was always so infuriating. And maddening, absolutely maddening, plus maybe slightly arousing. Mainio wouldn't have noticed except Egil shifted under him and he realized suddenly that Egil was naked even if Mainio was clothed. Cleaning the blood off. Right. 

He took a breath; it wasn't steady. "I'd prefer you not use me."

"Everyone uses each other," Egil said, his voice settling into calmness again.

Mainio dug his thumb in between Egil's windpipe and tendons and smiled at the satisfyingly strangled grunt of pain. That was better. Bastard shouldn't get to rest. "Where I come from, people don't."

Egil's hacking laugh sounded strangled. Mainio let up pressure, and Egil nodded his thanks. "The Celestial Armada uses people to fight its wars. Unless they become a liability."

Closing his eyes was the best idea. And facing away from Egil, so he couldn't feel the breath on his face. It was on his ear instead, which wasn't much better but made Mainio not want quite so much to find the knife Egil had had inside his back pocket and do some real hurting. 

"Sensitive issue?" Egil asked, like he didn't know. 

Mainio hissed and dug his thumb in again, fingers digging in the back as well. He could kill Egil like this. Just angle his thumb a little so the nail broke skin, and rip flesh out.

Egil's eyes went wide and he blinked a couple times, shuddered, and groaned. "I have to warn you, 'Nio, if you stay where you are..."

Mainio's eyes flickered down, and he saw that Egil was fully erect. Ridiculously sized, of course, to match the rest of him. The impulse to kill remained present in Mainio's mind. "One: that's not any nickname of mine. Two: you aren't allowed to tell me what to do," Mainio said, low and measured. 

"Am I not?" Egil asked, voice hazy, scratchy. His eyes slid closed for a moment, beatific grin sliding onto his face. "It's really more up to you, whether you want to listen or not."

Mainio swallowed hard, bloodlust turning cold. Egil was.... He stopped digging his finger into Egil's cheek and leaned down instead, lips next to the blue-black of the new bruise. "Why am I here?" he asked.

"Juanita," Egil said without hesitation. "I needed you off my tail. She came up with a way."

It was probably the most honest thing Egil had ever told Mainio. For a reward, Mainio bit down, bottom teeth below Egil's cheekbone, top teeth digging into the most sensitive area. 

Egil moaned, jerking underneath Mainio and letting his head fall back as soon as Mainio let go. He stayed like that, breath coming in gulps, trembling finely, as Mainio shifted. Moved a little closer. His own cock was erect, too, but not half so hard as Egil's, when they brushed through Mainio's clothes.

For the first time, Egil used his hands. He unsnapped Mainio's pants, whispering, "let me, I just want to, it'll be good" as he grabbed Mainio's cock, pressed it against his own, and held both in his fist.

They moaned in unison, Egil leaning away a little as Mainio leaned closer. "Stay," Mainio said, arm sliding down to Egil's mid back, fingernails digging in. 

Egil nodded, pupils blown. "But only because you asked nicely."

"Screw you," Mainio told him softly, shifting closer, catching one of Egil's nipples with one hand. He didn't even pinch hard but Egil gasped, his cock jumping. He wanted in the worst way to get down on his knees, to wrap his lips around Egil's cock, but. But something told him that now wasn't the time. 

Instead, he wrapped his left hand around Egil's, shifted so that his own cock came free of the grasp, and started jacking him off. He didn't even care that the blood from the cuts smeared everywhere. He went slow before Egil added lubricant, and then fast, hips jerking as well. Egil just put his forehead on Mainio's shoulder, gripped Mainio's other shoulder with one hand, and held on.

It couldn't have been very much longer when he started begging; the lube hadn't dried. 

Egil begged prettily as Mainio ever had. Begged to be allowed to come, begged to mark Mainio, begged for anything. He said it over and over, "Please, 'Nio, anything. Anything," like Mainio would have any idea what anything entailed.

"What's anything?" Mainio asked a couple minutes later, as the lube began to dry. He added more. "What--what do you need?" 

Still gripping Mainio's shoulder, Egil moaned brokenly. "I. Can't ask." 

Can't ask? What couldn't he ask for?

And then it hit Mainio: the manipulation, it being Juanita's idea to bring him, and a thousand other tiny interactions: Egil was submissive. Uppity, but submissive; he wanted to give the control to someone else. 

Mainio wasn't--no, it didn't matter. He'd take submission from Egil, if no one else.

"Come," Mainio whispered, breathless with power.

"With--with--or without?" 

With or without what? Mainio slowed his speed for long moments as he tried to think. With or without? What? 

And then it hit him: ejaculation. Egil could come, he just didn't know whether he was allowed to ejaculate. "Without," Mainio said, just to see it in action.

Egil made a choked sound that turned into a low, steady groan, gripped Mainio's shoulder painfully hard, and it felt like he shuddered apart underneath Mainio. Precome glittered all over his glans, but there wasn't any ejaculate. Mainio tasted just to be sure, and was impressed in spite of himself. 

Okay, no, that wasn't okay. This--thing. He cleared his throat, wiped his hand on his already filthy shirt, and went to go find some clothes that weren't dirty and some first aid supplies.

And maybe a private corner where he could masturbate and never think about the way Egil shook so hard when he came ever again. Hopefully the adrenaline would wear off before he could get to that, though.

*

"--don't give a flying goddamned fuck what they think they're doing. You run this station, which means no-damn-body's got a fucking right to run you," Juanita said, sounding more angry than he'd ever heard her before.

She paused. Mainio headed down the hall--which, coincidentally, the control room was located along. 

"Congratulations on growing a pair." 

Pause.

"Sure, of nuts, if you want, but I meant tits. Let me know when..."

Mainio didn't close the door to the cage as he changed--his hands were less than steady, just being in there, but all his clothes were here--and wet down a small towel to wipe the blood off of himself. A lot had apparently soaked through the thin, tech-enhanced clothes.

He was in the middle of that when Juanita appeared in the doorway, leaning against it and tilting her head at him. "So, was that as much fun as it sounded from where I was sitting?"

"How fun did it sound where you were standing?" Mainio asked, looking down again. The adrenaline had gone away so quickly that now he just felt mostly numb.

"Very," Juanita said, not putting any particular inflection on on it. Not using it as a way to seduce, which Mainio appreciated. She acted so much older than she looked, but....

He pursed his lips. "What was the way you came up with of getting me off Egil's tail?" he asked, looking up again. He needed to hear her say it.

And she didn't try to sugar-coat it. "Kidnap you. Take you away from what you knew--but then you got discharged and things got complicated."

Mainio snorted. "Massive understatement."

She smiled. "So we did what we could. The general idea was to wear you down and then let you build yourself back up again." 

"By escaping from the goons on the station?"

Juanita shook her head. "No, that was a genuine shit-meet-fan moment." She sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. Softer, she added, "We wouldn't have risked you like that."

"Risked me?" Mainio asked. 

"You're an investment for us. A good one," Juanita said, easily. Her arms dropped back down, hands at her thighs. "Sooner or later, I hope you're going to realize that we're a good investment for you, too."

She didn't need to explain it, not when he could still see the readouts of her information from his eyes--military issue, not for civilians. Mainio just nodded, and kept scrubbing at his back using the mirror that Egil had put on the plastech wall at Mainio's behest. 

"Need the aid kit?" she asked. 

"It's not my blood," Mainio said, going lower, right above his ass. He'd already gotten everything on his front.

"Your hand," she said, motioning.

He'd avoided using it so it wouldn't get worse and had forgotten for a moment. He blamed it on the post-adrenaline drop. "Sure."

Juanita's nod was grateful, and as she left, Mainio realized that it had been meant as a peace offering.

*

It was ironic that Mainio felt almost protected in the cage when neither Juanita or Egil came in. Then Egil poked his head inside to say, "We're launching; decide which side of the airlock you want to be on and close it."

He was gone before Mainio could reply, which was just as well, since Mainio had no clue what he was going to say. Not with his heart beating in his throat, panic clawing at the edges of his mind. A few deep breaths were a lot more calm than Mainio had expected them to be. 

By the time he pulled on his shirt and headed out of the cage, he was feeling almost back to even keel. It felt even better to lean against the cool metal of the locked door and take a few more breaths before heading down the hall. 

Mainio had debated just heading down for a nap, but when he walked past the control room and saw Egil, his heart started beating fast. Even post-drop, when he walked by the control panel and saw Egil, Mainio's heart resumed the quicker pace again. No panic this time, but Egil was looking at the monitor showing the taxi hooking up to the Lusty Lady. He hadn't acknowledged that Mainio was there.

"Are you going to tell me that that entire thing was unplanned, too?" he asked.

Egil didn't look away from the screen. "We had to load the last of the cargo; you didn't need to see it."

And there was the panic that had been missing. Loud and clear. "Because you don't trust me?" Mainio shifted, putting his weight on his left leg, hands still by his side.

"Plausible deniability," Egil muttered. 

That was probably the most messed up reason Mainio could think of to send someone out into a hostile environment without telling them to keep on watch.

No, they had. They'd emphasized it. But it was still a perfect excuse. "Are you kidding me?" 

Egil looked down at the panel, shifted in his chair, uncrossing his legs and putting both feet firmly on the floor. Classic power pose. "Are you that paranoid?"

A sudden wave of tiredness swept over Mainio. Probably the panic rolling over and giving up. He looked at the floor, looked down the hall toward the hold. "Goodnight, Egil."

"Juanita was going to find you," Egil said, looking back at the monitor. The ship was moving, but the low-g made it easy to not feel. "Did she manage it?"

Like that was a viable question when Egil probably knew more spots to hide than areas of the ship Mainio knew, period. "It's not like I can hide, like your cargo."

For long moments, Egil was quiet, and tapped a few buttons on the panel, keeping his eyes on the monitor. Mainio knew it wasn't terribly complex; he was just responding in the positive to knowing his position. Two ships ahead of him to launch.

Egil cleared his throat and looked back at Mainio. Met his gaze. "We'll indoctrinate you to the Lady's mysteries once I can trust you, and no sooner." 

"And you call me paranoid," Mainio muttered, sighing. 

"She trusts you," Egil said, offering it up in a gentle tone. "But I can't."

"Because I've been hunting you for years and almost killed you during sex?" Mainio asked, brows furrowing, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Yes and no," Egil said, his pale skin showing the light flush rising up his neck easily. "Because we've been at odds for ten years, yes. I expected--I expected the other." 

"So?" Mainio asked. "What's the problem?" 

Egil cleared his throat, crossed one leg over the other. "I liked it a little too much." 

Oh. It made sense--Egil couldn't trust himself around Mainio, so he couldn't trust Mainio. It didn't make it any less tiring to think about. Especially when he felt the jolt of the boomerang connecting, ready to sling them out into space. Lady's turn to launch.

"Go sleep, Nio," he said, voice gentle, as he leaned forward.

"Don't call me Nio," Mainio said, more loud than actually angry. He lowered his voice and made sure to control it as he added, "My name is Mai-ni-o. Use it."

Egil laughed, a low chuckle as he kept his eyes on the viewscreen. "I go by Gabe these days, but I don't hear you calling me that." 

"You never told me," Mainio said. Directly on the heels of that, Egil shot back: "You never asked."

Okay, they were fighting about names now. This was--Mainio needed to sleep. It had been a long day. He woke up hours earlier than Egil and Mainio by habit. He sighed, deep inhale, deep exhale. "Goodnight, Gabe," he said, and headed for the hold. 

Egil's laughter followed Mainio down into the hold.

*

"Tired?" Juanita asked, when Mainio had gotten down the stairs enough to see her sitting in the spot he used to get to his hammock. She looked a little nervous, fingernails scraping the back of one hand anxiously.

Mainio nodded. "Your boss is exhausting." It was so much easier to be in the same space with someone who treated him like he was worth more than pocket lint. "And a pain."

Juanita laughed. "I taught him well, then," she said, looking up at Mainio from under her lashes and then laughing again, obviously at herself this time. 

By now, he'd learned that most of Juanita's jokes were at least half-true, though. This one was more likely than most; she'd laughed at it. He slid down to sit two steps up from her, his shin against her back. "Why are you waiting for me?" 

She leaned back, touched her forehead to his knee. "Because I like you, and he never wants to cuddle."

"I'd have thought you'd have more problems with psychopathy than 'he won't cuddle', but you surprise me all the time, I guess." Mainio reached out, touching the crown of Juanita's head with his thumb and then letting his fingers trace forward, stopping at the skin of her forehead. 

"Mmm," she hummed, closing her eyes and leaning against Mainio's knee. "You're not that far off from him, you know." 

Mainio shrugged. "Antisocial personality disorder is not the same as psychopathy." 

"And government-sanctioned killing is different from other killing, how?" She opened her eyes, looking at him without turning around. Good job she didn't have bangs.

He touched her hair again, fingers sliding down to her ear this time, very lightly tracing the shell. "It keeps order. War" --most of the reason governments sanctioned killing, these days-- "keeps order." 

"What if it's a personal war?" Juanita asked, and turned her head suddenly to press a kiss against Mainio's fingertips. "Can that keep order if the rest of the world has no idea what you're fighting for?"

Mainio thought about it. While he did, Juanita shifted up the two steps between them and leaned back between Mainio's legs, one arm over each. She hummed happily, and he wished she'd just done this a month ago. 

Did the mission to capture Egil count as a personal war? Probably. Did that mean it was a valid excuse? "No," he murmured. "No, I don't think personal wars count." 

"Why not?" she asked, looking up at him. Reaching up, touching his chin lightly. She looked so fascinated, so curious. "A well-executed personal war involves far less bloodshed than even the best planned battles."

"Bloodshed is a hazard of keeping order," Mainio said.

Juanita's fingers dug into the sides of his jaw for a moment. "I'm talking orders of magnitude; don't repeat to me that trite bullshit about sacrifice. A soldier doesn't necessarily need to be sacrificed to win a war."

Mainio grimaced, leaned away, caught her wrist when she tried to reach for him again. "What are you talking about?" 

"Why do you think he stopped letting people hire him for hits?" she asked, nodding her head upward, toward the part of the ship people actually lived in. As if she could be talking about anyone else.

Since Juanita didn't make any more attempts for deliberate hand-to-skin touch, he let go of her wrist. "Because he got old?" 

Of course she laughed, light and happy. "No, no. He'll keep killing until the day he dies. He likes it too goddamned much to stop." 

The words sat in the air, heavy. Maybe she'd meant them as a thought, but they'd come out an aside and so now he couldn't ignore that fact. Mainio licked his lips. 

Juanita cleared her throat. "But he's directed now. He's got a personal war." 

"Against what?" Mainio asked, genuinely curious. 

"Corruption," she said, simply. "All the reasons people have to live on stations like that, ones that don't have names or any connection to the universe at large. And against people being trapped there." 

Cargo, he thought, suddenly realizing a further reason why Egil couldn't trust him yet: Other people's lives hung in the balance. "They're forced to live there? On that station?" 

Juanita nodded, leaning her head on his thigh, both hands above his knee. She didn't look up at him. "It's illegal for someone who is unregistered to obtain registration other than at birth. It costs far more than any of them could ever afford, you know. More than you'd have been able to afford on your salary as a Sergeant."

Mainio's brows furrowed. He remembered hearing something about this when he'd been going through training for his ocular implants. But it had been from the standpoint of reporting any unregistered faces for further investigation. He had no clue how many people he'd unwittingly doomed. "Why?" 

"You think stations are cheap to run?" she asked, rolling her head back, looking up at him. "No one wants to pay for them except the people who can exploit them." 

"That's messed up," Mainio said, shaking his head.

"Mmmm," she hummed, and sat up again, shifting to squat in front of him, her face a head lower than his. "Welcome to the reason he and I decided to kidnap you."

"You want me to find them," he said, eyes going wide with the realization. "All the unregistered ones on normal stations. Find them and send them to you." 

"I knew you were a smart boy," Juanita whispered, voice shifting from teasing to warm approval. "Now: can we share a hammock until it's my turn to pilot? I thought you said you were tired."

Mainio laughed. "Are you going to try to put your hand down my pants?" She looked like she might, heat in her gaze.

Juanita stood up, offering him a hand. "Not uninvited," she said, with a playful eyebrow waggle. How did people even do that?

The way she squeezed Mainio's hand as she helped him stand took his mind off of silly questions, though, making him blush and be glad of loose-fitting pants. "Come on." 

* 

"Say," Mainio whispered, his head tucked against Juanita's breasts, "what would you have done if I was still in the military?" 

"Convinced you to leave," she said. 

It was so matter-of-fact, and he believed it. She would've done whatever it took to convince him to join them. 

"Why me?" he asked.

"In your initial recruitment interview," she said, sliding her hands through his hair, "you said that you wanted to join the Armada to help people." 

Her hand slid down to cup the back of his neck, which she squeezed; Mainio made a soft, happy noise. It was nice to be touched again. 

"I was pretty sure that that seventeen year old idealist was still in there somewhere," Juanita continued, speaking absently, her breath washing over the exposed side of his face. "Gabe doubted, but I think he's never been as good at reading people as he wanted to believe he was."

Mainio shifted, squirming closer, though there was truly no way to do so. It felt nice in ways he couldn't define to have someone believe in him the way she seemed to. He lifted his head from her chest and moved up until he could press a kiss against her forehead.

He meant it to be gentle, thankful, but she wrapped her arm around his waist and he just didn't want to pull away. Longest forehead kiss ever, but the look in her eyes said it hadn't been awkward for her, either. 

"Was that it," she said, words measured, "or are you up for more?" 

Between the space of one breath and the next, he decided to kiss her and then did it before he could lose his nerve. 

Juanita kissed back. She cupped his head, she hummed happily. She wrapped both her legs around the leg he was lying on and ground her hips against him. Mainio's hands shook a little as he finger-combed her hair out of her face, as he slid his hand inside her shirt to touch her bare skin. It was so warm. She was so warm. 

And then she shifted, and Mainio realized holy shit. He broke the kiss, looking up at her, mouth open, caught. 

Meanwhile she ground against him, eyes rolled back, groaning softly. "God. Wanted you for so long. So long." 

"Do you have a cock?" Mainio asked, barely speaking above a whisper. His breath shook, and he bit his lip, looking away from her. 

"Of course," she said, and lifted her hips, bringing his hand down to cup her. "Doesn't work a hundred percent most of the time, but it's nice, isn't it?" 

Mainio swallowed. He was suddenly unbelievably hard, so much so that it hurt and it was so obvious, her leg was right there. And Juanita was laughing, light and free. "I'm sorry," he whispered, still not able to look at her. "I'm not--I don't mean to." He took a short, unsteady breath. He was doing it to her, that thing he'd always dreaded; the reason he hadn't slept with anyone in so long.

"I don't--I don't care if you have a cock and it's not why I want to have sex with you even though I obviously--" He cut off, biting his lip. Took another unsteady breath and started again, in a rush this time. "I--I know better than that, but I. Can't stop reacting." His cheeks had gotten tight with heat, and now they went cold with shame. 

"Oh baby," Juanita murmured, tangling her fingers in his hair, making his gaze meet hers. She was turned on. Really, really hot. "I don't know about you, but I'm really loving the thought of having sex with someone who's like me, for a change." 

Hot for me, he thought, swallowing again, suddenly unsure. "I--I don't want to make you feel like--" 

"Mainio," she said, firmly but not loudly. 

He took a breath. Another. A third. Okay, that was his heartbeat back under control. "Yes?" 

"I like it," Juanita said, smiling a small half smile and brushing Mainio's cheek with her hand. "I like it when people like my cock; it makes me feel pretty." She barely paused, rushing forward before Mainio could react to that idea. "And I like you. Gabe--he likes both of us. And you like me. Is any of that going to cause a problem?" 

Mainio found it hard to believe that people wanting Juanita for her cock made her feel pretty. But... maybe. He took another breath and shrugged slowly. "My only problem is the part where Gabe thinks I belong to him because he likes me," Mainio said, soft but honest.

"Boundary issues, that man," Juanita said, drawing out the words and then giggling. "But seriously--it's okay. I like it. If you want to worry about something, worry about the fact that we can't really do more than rub against each other in the hammock without worrying about flipping ourselves down to zero G." 

A little laugh came out even though he tried to hold it in. "I--I don't think. I'm too tired for more."

She nodded, grinning, leaning down. "In that case, I'll just have to do all the work." 

Mainio felt his cock perk up, felt the cool shame draining out of his cheeks as hot arousal resurfaced. "Really?"

"Oh yeah." She kissed his forehead, kissed his cheek. "It'll be a real chore," she growled the word, and a shiver went up his spine, "but I think I'll manage somehow."

He licked his lips. She kissed him there, lightly, and then harder. With tongue. With teeth and tongue, and Mainio found himself arching, forgetting about worrying, forgetting about everything but the way it felt to be under her. 

Juanita's thighs were so strong and she--she knew how to grip, knew how to grind and, after raising her eyebrows and Mainio giving her the nod, she knew how to handle a smaller cock, too. Knew how to spit in her hand and grip with fingers, rubbing as much as she jerked it. 

"Fuck," Mainio whispered, shaking, moaning. 

"I love the way you sound when you say that," Juanita said, not at all quiet. "Say it again for me." 

Mainio felt his cheeks going red even with his face flushed. "N--n--" he tried to protest, but couldn't get the full word out. She'd sped up; she gripped him harder now. "Fuck. Fuck, Jua--aa-aaah," he shuddered all over, eyes rolling back for a moment. Orgasm, but a small one. Not one of those boom-booms. 

"Really," Juanita purred, leaning down, breath on his face. "More. I want to hear it more." 

For long moments, Mainio thought about protesting. Then she shifted her grip, rubbing the heel of her palm in slower but more firm movements, and he groaned low and long. "Fuck," he said, softly. 

"Yeah," she murmured, and paused for a moment, spitting in her hand before resuming. "More." 

"Fuck," he said again, shakily this time; her fingernails felt wicked and wonderful and he was so. Near the edge. He just needed some good, constant motion. 

Juanita's laugh was low and dark and pleased. "Tell me what you want. You're not allowed to use any nice words."

His next exhale came out as a shaky moan, and then a high-pitched laugh. 

She raked one nail down his cock before resuming the rhythm from before, playful, teasing and not delivering. 

"Want to--" 

"Want?" she asked, doubtful. 

"Need," Mainio all but shouted. "Please, I need you to jack me--"

Juanita tsked, giving him a squeeze and then resuming the teasing. "You can come up with something more filthy than that. Didn't you watch porn during your second puberty?"

Every single day of it. He squeezed his eyes shut and drew in a breath. "Need you to--to beat my meat," 

"Yeah," she growled, curling her hand into a fist, his cock trapped between her index finger and knuckle. It barely fit, but she made it work. "Tell me what you need." 

"Need you to--to make me cream everywhere, make a--" Mainio's breath caught for a moment, and then wooshed out in a helpless, "fuck" as she sped up. He'd fisted up his hands without realizing it, and only did when he forced them open, groaning low and needy. "Make a fucking mess."

"Good," Juanita told him, and she meant it, he could tell. That--that tone, and she was keeping it steady, doing it just the way that felt like was going to make him blind with pleasure. "Good boy. Don't you stop, though." 

"Want--want to feel. Your cock on me. Your--aaah," Mainio cut off into a helpless moan as she pulled down her sweatpants and pulled out her cock. Dark, gorgeous, half-erect but shiny with precome. "Yes. It's. Beautiful. I--fuck, it's, fucking beautiful, I--"

"Come on," she whispered, determined. 

"I can't think," Mainio said, helpless, brain not really functioning. "Fuck, I, I--like that, please, like--like that!" 

Juanita leaned down against him and her forehead was sweaty against his, and she bit his lip and started adding a twist to the end of her stroke and he lost it for a moment but it wasn't hard to find again, not with her cock pressed against his leg and her teeth and her eyes and her hands and. 

Her. Everywhere. Mainio came, tight and loose and tight and loose. One of the boom-booms, or maybe several.. He might've screamed. All he knew for sure was that he came so hard that he blacked out, and when he came to, it was to Juanita looking worried, slapping his cheek lightly. 

"Thank God," she said, and let out a sigh. "You weren't kidding when you said you were tired, were you?" 

Talking didn't work very well. Mainio shook his head instead, and it felt like he was flopping around like a fish.

Her smile was fond, he thought. "Mmm, yeah. You just lay there." 

Mainio made a motion toward her crotch; her beautiful cock was hidden again, and the material looked distinctly damp. 

"Oh," Juanita said, looking down, smiling. "I didn't, and I'm not going to. Kind of killed the mood when you came so hard you passed out." 

He wished he could laugh; all that came out was a kind of huffing pant.

"Mmm." She shook her head, smiling. "Sleep, you. I've got to take over driving back to civilization." 

Mainio's nod didn't feel quite as floppy as the shaking his head had, and Juanita leaned down and pressed a lingering kiss against his forehead before she climbed out of the hammock and headed up the stairs.

He thought about trying some well-placed cursing sometime when they weren't actually fucking.

He wondered if Egil would enjoy it as much as Juanita did.

After long moments of drifting thought, he decided it didn't really matter, and went to sleep. If he had to be in space, it seemed like he could do far worse than The Lusty Lady.


End file.
